Script to Screen: The Timeline

Initial ideas

My initial idea for script to screen (as seen in earlier posts) was about a woman who becomes locked in a cupboard on purpose in a house for sale. I liked the idea of having a trusted character become  the antagonist in the 'twist', and so in the end the woman gets shut mysteriously behind the cupboard door, and then we see in a phone call the salesman says "send in the next one," hinting to this being a planned event, that the salesman was in on the whole time.

I then realised that this idea was too horror (who closed the door behind her, locking her in? What made her climb inside the cupboard?) and so I thought that she could know the person selling the house, and instead of climbing inside the cupboard, she finds something in there that is important to her... So I gave her a missing daughter. We know her daughter is missing because the first scene shows her dreaming about her daughter. The woman finds her daughter in the cupboard and the person that is known to the family (the homeowner) is revealed to be the one to have taken her all this time.

Using this idea I wanted to show small clues that would hint to the viewer that something was wrong about the homeowner and that things didn't seem to add up with him. For this I wrote in a line from the homeowner hinting to him having a daughter, but then as they go around the house there is no sign of a daughter anywhere, and the buyer also notices this when taking off her shoes and seeing that there is only 1 pair of large men's shoes by the door.
Further planning...

25 word pitch

A first-time buyer at a house viewing notices a small door that the estate agent refuses to acknowledge. Where will her curiosity lead her?

Testing of idea

I wrote the script up as best I could but then reached the end of the story about 6 pages in. We needed 10 so I improved the script formatting which took it to the beginning of 7 pages. I was struggling with the idea at this point because it didn't entirely make sense to me and I had started to lose faith in the idea. I tried to write more into the story and it ended up becoming too detailed, with lines that didn't flow well and scenes that should have ended sooner. I decided I needed to start quickly planning and writing a second script because I knew I wasn't going to be able to work with the one I was writing. I probably should have had more faith in my own work, but I'm glad I stopped with the one I didn't have my heart set on when I did as otherwise I wouldn't have had enough time to properly develop a second script.

Script and camera workshops

I showed my first script to Steve as at this point I had only 3 pages of my second, but 8 of my first, and considered that I should give it a 3rd and final shot at becoming something good with his advice. While waiting for my first script to return, I began planning and developing my second script, which I was already happier with and after 3 pages I knew the pace was definitely going to take me further than 8 pages (hoping for 10).
When it came back, Steve had given really great advice for my first script, but I was at 8 pages for my second and still had enough story left to go, so decided to stick with my second script. however I still took what I could from the meeting with Steve and he gave me some great directions that I could have taken the first script in, and constructive criticism to help with the development and taking it further (if I had chosen to):

• The plot is dramatic and brave, "that hits the buffers of its own ambition"
• There were many questions left to be answered
  - The motivation of the characters isn't clear enough
  - Why does Arthur try to sell his house when he has a captive girl?
  - Too much coincidence that the only house Sam views is the one with her daughter in.
• It was clear that I lost confidence in my ending
• The camera will need to do most of the telling in the screenplay
• There is a lot of unnecessary dialogue (I had known this, which is why I lost confidence)

As for camera workshops it was a great help to have built more confidence with using the equipment before taking it out. It was a good chance for trial and error.

We edited together different videos in order to practice our editing and also shot sequences that we later edited together. I have posted one of those videos, however, I did film and edit the rest but something went wrong with my hard drive meaning I couldn't access those videos and therefore didn't get a chance to upload them here. However this is still all part of the trial and error and if it hadn't have happened with my test edits, it would have happened with my real footage that I added to it only a week later. I'm glad this problem was discovered early.

Despite that setback, I luckily didn't lose any work that needed to be handed in, and still had everything I had learned from the workshops remembered. It would have been helpful to look back at the videos and point out the mistakes, but at least I had the practice of it.

I do remember some of the problems we did encounter.

• Particularly with sound we encountered some issues. We had a camera workshop practicing health and safety on-set, and for this we used a Tascam. At first we think one of the cables was faulty or there was a loose connection and the sound wasn't coming through the headphones or registering on the Tascam. Once this was fixed we weren't 100% sure on how to use it and because the headphone volume was turned right up, the person doing the sound didn't realise that it was actually recording at a very low volume and when it came to editing, it was hard to hear what we had recorded. One of the shots also didn't have sound as the Tascam had run out of battery but we hadn't realised.
  Luckily I do remember everything we learned from the lesson about health and safety because our video was about all the hazards you should avoid on set. A particularly memorable scene was the tripping hazard.
• We did a lesson focused on the different shot types and camera movements. For this we made a video trying to utilise different shot types and also the 180 degree rule. In most circumstances, it seems, wide shots are to set a scene and can be uncomfortable. A mid shot gets in what you need to and can give a different meaning to the kind of relationship between the 2 people in the shot. and for a close up, it's personal, emotional, and it's more about the emotions of just 1 person.

Script development

The writing for my second script went a lot smoother than the first. Once I had finished it it was 11 pages so I cut it down (improved on it) and it ended up fitting well onto 10 pages. I chose to film the first 2 minutes as an extract of the film as it was going to make more sense. If I had had more time to plan (and if I had done my first script) I might have tried to test myself with a trailer rather than an extract but decided and extract would make the most sense to the viewer and would be easier to plan and film as there wouldn't be too many actors or locations to find.
I cut out the mini script (the 2 pages that I decided to film) and edited them into their own scripts. The film I initially titled 'Lack of Sleep' just as a working title changed to LUNCH as I developed it to be more about the main character meeting his work friend for lunch and discussing the house robbery that recently happened in his home. This event isn't immediately given away, we just know that something odd has been happening (thanks to the main character's boss welcoming him back to work, and his friend Ethan asking about what the police have found in his home). The story develops as the character loses sleep as he dreams about the home invasion every night, and it reveals more about what happened. Rather than there being questions that never get answered and were difficult to answer, there are questions that are slowly answered throughout the script.
I did struggle with one question, which was how did his subconscious dreams know that Ethan was the one to rob their home? I answered this a little loosely in the script with that Connor briefly woke up in the night to see Ethan walking past him, but because he thought he was dreaming he rolled over and went back to sleep. Ethan's motive is also cleared with his obvious disdain for Connor's parents-in-law, and the mention of them helping Connor's wife out with a money loan. I was much happier with being able to answer the questions that I posed myself in the plot than I was with my first script. I also liked that there was a clear and easy development throughout to follow and I was also able to fit in a lot of action in without it being rushed or extended too much.

I'm happy I went through the trial and error and tears to get to a much clearer second script rather than sticking with one that I didn't have my heart set on. I've learnt from mistakes that I've made in all aspects so far and made positive movements forwards with all of them.